Unique stories
Cancer diagnosis: a shock and the beginning of confidence
A conversation with mother and son – Cara and Constantin
“Unfortunately, we only got to know KAKS late in life,” says Cara Crämer in an interview with the Children’s Eye Cancer Foundation.
The mother of two could not be more appreciative of our foundation than these words, which are so meaningful in so many ways.
We have known the family since 2019.
And the family knows us.
Cara, 28, Conrad, 30, and the two children Catharina, 8, and Constantin, 10.
He is the one who was diagnosed with unilateral retinoblastoma at the age of 22 months.
Cancer in the eye.
A shock for Cara and Conrad, who had given birth to their little daughter 13 days earlier.
Out of the puerperium and with their little son to the children’s eye clinic at Essen University Hospital.
Clarification, confirmation, operation.
All RB families are familiar with this and know how optimism returns after a time of fear and doubt.
And the certainty: the issue remains, it will stay with the child and the parents.
But there is always a way.
Towards confidence.
Into the fullness of life.
We talked about all this first with Cara Crämer and then with Constantin.
A conversation with Cara, 28 years old, mother of a great RB child KAKS:
KAKS: Let’s start the conversation from the back, so to speak.
What does the Children’s Eye Cancer Foundation mean to you?
Cara Crämer: She means a lot to me.
We can finally talk to each other.
It makes me happy to see how much joy Constantin gets from the encounters and the friendships he makes here.
We were missing contact with like-minded people.
We are no longer alone.
Everything was great as a family, but being able to talk to other families is something completely different.
KAKS: If your son hadn’t had retinoblastoma, we wouldn’t have met and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
What positive experiences have you had as the mother of a child with cancer?
Cara Crämer: I think it’s the family cohesion that I’ve experienced.
A bond that nothing and nobody can break.
The family has been so close ever since.
Let’s look at this difficult time of diagnosis, understanding and treatment.
KAKS: Looking back, what do you think of first?
Cara Crämer: Knowing what I know today, I would say that it was the path that had to be taken.
In retrospect, that sounds so easy, so simple.
What happens, happens.
That’s how it is in life.
KAKS: Has the challenge changed for you over the past eight years?
Cara Crämer: There hasn’t been much change.
We live with construction sites, so to speak.
There are currently two, three, four.
One of them is an autism diagnosis for Constantin.
He will be a construction site for life.
My construction site.
He is the way he is.
We talk to him a lot.
Sometimes for hours.
KAKS: You were – if you can even call it that – lucky in misfortune, because Constantin had a unilateral RB.
Is the cancer always there, or always there again?
Cara Crämer: The world is not terrible.
It is beautiful.
That’s what we want to convey to our children.
We even had fun in hospital.
I remember that well.
Making the child smile … And vice versa Yes.
And vice versa.
KAKS: What do you expect from KAKS?
Cara Crämer: Let me put it this way: we have so much fun at and with the foundation.
I just hope that we will continue to have it.
KAKS: Dear Cara, thank you for the interview.
And we look forward to hearing what your son has to tell us.
A conversation with Constantin, ten years old
KAKS: Hello Constantin.
Thank you for listening patiently.
But now we want to get to know you.
Tell us what it’s like to be ten?
Such a puberty?
If you know what I mean.
Constantin Crämer: Since I’ve been at the new school, I’m happy to get up in the morning.
Before, everything at the old school sucked.
I often thought: I hope the kids who are annoying me are all sick.
Today I think: I hope they’re all here.
KAKS: What exactly was so bad?
Constantin Crämer: One child was annoying.
Annoyed me so often.
Cara Crämer intervenes briefly: “Constantin was actively bullied.
We quickly realized that.
The school initially denied it.
Constantin reacted aggressively to the bullying, he snapped out of proportion.
It was clear to the school that he had to leave.
KAKS: And now you like going to school again?
Constantin Crämer: Yes.
My class teacher, for example, I really like her.
We shake hands every morning.
I think that’s nice.
At the new school, I don’t freak out like that anymore.
KAKS: You enjoy your new school and it means a lot to you.
What about KAKS?
The same question to you as to mom.
Constantin Crämer: Sabine, I made a real friend at KAKS.
Finn.
He’s funny.
We like to make nonsense.
We once talked on the phone for three hours.
I can talk to him.
Most children say: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
It’s different with Finn.
KAKS: So it means something to you to meet children who also had an RB and have a glass eye?
Constantin Crämer: Oh yes.
It makes you feel a bit more protected.
Less lonely, you know.
It’s like an animal that is rare and then realizes: There are lots of them.
So KAKS definitely means something to me.
There are children, not just Finn, who understand me.
That makes me very happy.
KAKS: You said that really beautifully, Constantin.
I’m really touched by your words.
Constantin Crämer: I tell mom and dad: Please let’s go to KAKS again.
Please, please.
KAKS: Do children talk to you about your glass eye?
Do they annoy you?
And what do you think?
Constantin Crämer: Some people talk to me.
Some look.
Look very intensely.
I prefer to talk to them.
KAKS: Do you have any wishes for KAKS?
Constantin Crämer: I like climbing.
We could do that together sometime.
I don’t like big companies.
But they’re really okay at KAKS.
KAKS: You know what, Constantin.
You’re all right.
Just the way you are.
Thank you for talking to me.